Seven Quick Takes - (#12)

1. This is my new favorite piece of paper. I've waited a long, long time for this piece of paper. Longer
than I ever waited for a degree, and wayyy more anticipated. This was received after I made the final payment....and it represents 100% of my education paid off (from AA to MA to post graduate studies)!! If this isn't a form of conceiving hope, then I don't know what is!

2. This is my new favorite piece of glass. Because I made it! A dear friend showed me how to do it and I had a lot of fun making it. Before I learned the process, I had no idea how it worked. This was the result of 17 different shards of glass and a little bit of frit (glass dust) being fired at over 1300 degrees Fahrenheit for several hours. Here's the interesting thing I learned about glassmaking: you really have to know what you want to do and how you want to accomplish it. I didn't know either. But who can go wrong with a Little Flower tribute? She's been pretty present in my life for the past five years, so that's what I went with....but now to figure out what to do with my little handmade cabachon. Pendant? Part of a handmade shrine? Ideas?

3. This is my least favorite advice from this week: One of my best friends told me that he thought I was "choosing to live in the past" when he saw me acknowledge the life and death of my son on a facebook post months ago (read it here). It amazes me how almost 20 years of friendship can leave two people so disconnected on a topic they both completely agree on: the importance of family. He then went on to make it better by saying that "at least if I never have children, I can have a nice married life without kids". I'm pretty sure I'm done listening to people tell me how they are processing my experience with child loss and infertility. Even the people I love dearly! Go hug your infertile friends, people!!

4.WIWE: This is my new favorite recipe for the week. I don't use any spirulina, but I do use a little matcha powder. The flavor hearkens directly back to the after-dinner Andes mints my grandmother used to give me as a child, but with clean ingredients that I don't have to worry about! Next up to try is this pie. Last week I made this and these and they were amazing.

5. This is my new favorite probiotic. I gotta say, me and my 900 billion new friends... we're pretty tight. All puns intended. I saw a change in my digestion within 24 hours of starting these. None of the bloating I've read others talking about either! If you are on a mission to heal a leaky gut (like I am), then here's what my current regime entails: Bio Kult, Prescript Assist, and Ultimate Flora (Critical Care) all rotated with each other. I've read that using probiotic strains that are native to soil is a better way to begin repopulation... so that's where the Bio Kult came in. The others are just to keep the strains rotated to built back gut flora quicker. This new one is ridiculous. I lost 3 inches off my waist over NIGHT. Now granted, I don't have UC or IBS diagnosed and I definitely don't have an IP, so I suppose this is an off-label usage for me. But with my inflammation issues and history of endo... I figured it couldn't hurt to try it. UHmazing results. 

6. The Twin Hearts Novena was prayed by 15 people this year (who shared with me). I have no idea who else might have been lurking... so I can only go off of those who commented on the novena post or who sent me a private message. Thank you to everyone who joined me in prayer! And thank you for letting me pray for you and your intentions. And THANK YOU for praying for mine. I hope everyone had a wonderful Feast of the Sacred Heart, as well as a blessed Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Lord, hear our prayers. Mother Mary, pray for us in our need.

7. Don't forget to give the 7QT host some love.

Seven Quick Takes (#11) - Blogiversary Edition

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1. So it's officially been a year since I sat down at the keys and figured out how to make a blog! And then, miracle-of-miracles, I kept up with it. So, umm, that's never happened before... And while it feels like an accomplishment unto itself, this blogiversary is also a stark realization that I am not yet a mother to a living child. It doesn't weigh on me as heavily every day as it did a year ago, and that's a good thing. There is no less desire in my heart for a child... but I focus on the likelihood of it happening a lot less now than I did when I first sat down and put my fingers on the keys. I've been conceiving hope in other ways, trying to make the best of this infertile prison... while I watch everyone else leave the island. It's a surreal feeling. I write this not so much as a depressing update, but as a reminder to all that the pains of infertility don't always end in having living children. So many of the people I have met online since this journey began (read: most) have moved on to family life raising children. That's just not our story. And I actually think it gives a little hope to others in the same situation to remind them that they aren't alone. Our dreams haven't come true either. We're praying with you.

2. I never set out to write a blog that got a lot of clicks. And it's a good thing I didn't measure any success on that. But while the traffic here stays low, the private interaction with my audience stays high. You all are searching for the same answers I'm searching for... and when I get up the courage to write a prayer, offer friendly advice, or seek to pray with you, it seems to matter to you. So thank you, dear readers. I hope you will continue on this journey with me as I try to make sense of the God's Plan. I'm slowly getting out of my blindered IF haze and starting to learn how to live life again. Gracious thanks for your encouragement! And thank you to everyone who prayed along with me on the Twin Novena that I finished today!

3. Y'all apparently love a good series, advice, prayers, recipes, and a little controversy! The most shared, read, pinned, and tweeted posts seem to be the ones that are really written with a raw heart here. One of the things I set out to do at the beginning of this was to write the posts I was looking for and couldn't find. I wanted to be able to have concrete words to give people to say this is what infertility really is and this is why IVF is wrong and any number of posts I haven't even been able to write and publish yet. My hope is that the traffic on these posts means you were looking for the same. Any time you comment, I feel encouraged... so keep it up if you find this content helpful! :)

4. There has been some change going on in my life recently (hence being at the keys a little less). I can't really talk about any of it publicly yet, even with this being an anonymous blog. Some of the change is for good, some of it isn't. We'll have to see how it all pans out. In the meantime, I'm trying to distract myself with my studies and to be the best at FCP-ing as I can be. So far, I'm about 1/4 the way through the program to certification. It's not much yet, but I'm doing really well with what I have already accomplished and hoping that streak continues. I'll reach the 1/2 way point in September 2015.... so keep me in your prayers for that? Thanks!

5. After many months (read: years!) of craziness in my luteal phase, I've reached a good and stable post peak phase of 15 days. PMS is gone for the most part, thanks to my post peak supplementation and the LDN. Now it's just a matter of trying to figure out the ovulation defect and how to improve that. A doctor recently mentioned that micro-hCG injections pre-peak could be the way to stimulate better ovulation for people like me. I'm interested in learning more and will let you know what I find in my research. But seriously... back to the absence of PMS... there needs to be a parade!!!

6. It's been a while since I gave an update on Duck Watch here on the blog. It's an idea I came up with last October that involves a mighty adventure. The adventure has not yet unfolded, nor have the ducky details. Right now, all you know is that it involves a duck. Potentially some water. Potentially a traveling adventure. And it will likely happen in 2015. Ravenous for a clue? Care to venture a guess? Here you go: It's American, French, and English at the same time...and manages to be very gassy while still being terribly classy, if you can imagine that.








7. Remember to give the 7QT host some love! It's been a while since I linked up, but I hope you enjoyed this little edition! :)

Choosing to Thrive

We've spent a whole week exploring the struggles of infertility. As if it were a tiny little microcosm of the path through infertility itself, we talked about actively struggling, finding a category and understanding what infertility really is, what the experience of living it is like, how others navigate it, and the Please DO's and Please DON'TS of it all. So now it's time to box up this series by addressing what we're left with on this journey of infertility: a marriage that needs to thrive and not just survive.

Let's talk a little bit about thriving for a few minutes (and don't assume I'm preaching at anyone here ...we're all a work in progress and nothing I say here is mastered or conquered by either spouse behind Conceiving Hope....but we need to have goals. And ours are big like Irish rainbows.)...

One of the things that infertility is really great at is: stealing your long term vision and making you blinder-ed and tunnel-visioned in its wake. We get drawn into ourselves. We become super critical. We are constantly uncomfortable. And some of the time we're actually in physical pain. And when the day is at a close, blame has to land somewhere, right? The angst doesn't just resolve itself magically between spouses in its own. I joke that two people who have been right their entire lives (or at least "not wrong") about how to live....enter into marriage...and then someone has to instantly be wrong. It's a funny commentary on the dynamics of marriage, but it's kind of true isn't it? Or maybe not true per se, but it's how so many of us approach it. Amirite?! Someone has to be wrong and blame has to land somewhere.

But in that equation, on the topic of infertility through a Catholic vantage point, things get confusing. It isn't his or her fault that infertility is experienced. It's both or neither, right??

So that brings me to my point here. You have to choose whether to fail together or to thrive together. At some point, you are either destroying the boat you're both floating in and choosing to sink with it...or you are improving the boat to make it sail better and head to clear waters. We all go through the boat burning phase. That's what being a newlywed is all about, right? Burn the boat down as many times as you can! And lest you think I'm being dramatic, ask any primary infertility couple how the first few years of marriage go. It is not pretty. Because on top of all the other things you are becoming accustomed to in each other, living together, and sharing lives, etc. etc. etc....you are also navigating something as serious as cancer. No one is going to do it well. It shouldn't even be the goal. Surviving actually is a good goal in that phase, in a way. But marriage doesn't have to remain the flailing, smoking, chaotic scene the early days usually are. And if they weren't that for you, I think you are doing it wrong (or you deserve a Nobel Peace Prize, I'm undecided!). The fact remains:

Marriage can't thrive when it's lived as a constant source of pain.

If you choose to thrive - or rather - when you choose to thrive, there are a few things to keep in mind. Build yourself a map. Make it specific to you and your marriage. Have a plan. Set goals. Have a trajectory. And stick to it. The thing you will reap the rewards of first is having a sense of accomplishment. Truly, the couple who stagnates in the murky waters of infertility, accomplishing nothing else in life and marriage, is going to just be a depressive mess. (We've done that act of the play already, right husband?)

So when you make your map and you decide that against all odds, all emotions, and all logic, that you are going to make NOW the happy part....here are my suggestions. Take them with a grain of salt. Add to the list in the comments below. Share your wisdom of what worked best for you and your spouse. Keep the dialogue going until you get to a point where this sounds like a good idea that can work. I'm convinced that someone has to lead the way out of the in-your-face-mess-that-robs-you-of-all-happiness-in-life phase of infertility. And if I had to vote someone to take that first step in my own marriage, it will always be my husband. He's not the one being held hormonally captive. He's not the one whose neurotransmitters are being tweaked with every pill and shot. We aren't capable of anything more than what he is willing to aim for, and we won't accomplish anything successfully if he doesn't point us in the right direction. It's a lot of work, but I'm convinced that God has purpose in making a husband the leader in a marriage. Otherwise, He wouldn't have given us Ephesians 5.

This is where I think husbands can shine:

1. Pray together, without ceasing, without exception, without excuse.

Don't have a go-to prayer? Make one up. Not good at making one up? Use this one!:

Lord, I am giving you all the negativity

I am choosing your Grace and leaving everything else at your feet

I want more for my life than these pains of infertility

Give me the gifts I need to overcome this stagnation

Help me to thrive in Your will and in Your plans for my life

Help me to use my talents in ways that glorify you

Help us to make a marriage that is worthy of the sacrament that created it

Let your wisdom guide us in our decision making

Let us choose life for ourselves and help us to be fruitful in doing so

If there are children ahead, prepare our hearts to accept them

And if there are no children in Your plan for us, prepare our hearts to accept that

Remind us that we are powerless through technology and medicine and all the works of man

And that Your will is perfect and good for us.

Give us the courage to build up our marriage

And give us the strength to forge a path for ourselves

And give us the endurance to stay that path.

Help us to walk by faith and not sight.

Help us to grow closer to each other.

Help us to love each other

And if someone has to be wrong, let my husband own it gracefully.

Ok, ok, adjust the prayer however you need to. Humor is a big part of what works in my own marriage, so that last line is just for us. Somewhere, he's not laughing. Right, sweetie?

You really do have to cut the tension with humor though. Until you can laugh at yourselves, your boat isn't going anywhere.

2. Seek out counseling, not because you want to or like the idea of it. Do it because it's good for your marriage and balm for your sacrament. Do it because you love your spouse enough to be uncomfortable and do things you don't like for the benefit of their soul. Do it because you don't want to!! There's probably something to that...

You wouldn't argue that a cancer patient needs to process the journey, so after talking through how similar the psychology of disease is this week, don't argue that infertile couples need counseling. It's not a punishment. It's a reward. Start looking at counseling as a need that is as important as weekly groceries and your boat will get faster. And sleeker. And shinier.

3. Be Honest. Let your spouse talk about the things they've been keeping silent. Draw each other out. You can't heal some pain that is hiding in the shadows. And the likelihood that your spouse understood your suffering that you've been hiding is.......well.......don't expect it to happen. When you don't spell it out, clown-obvious-style, expect your spouse NOT to get it. Forget what they are supposed to "get" or how obvious you thought you were being. Start sharing without the unhelpful expectations of what they should have "gotten". That will help end the blame game. Be vulnerable and it will be rewarded. Your marriage has to be a safe harbor for both of you, not an insanely ornate and convoluted series of mouse traps. Honesty will help change that climate.

4. Make your other dreams equally important. It's too easy to become one-track. Infertility kind of demands it from us at the beginning. But once you've seen how wonderfully that works, try something new and have no shame in doing it. What is it that you wanted to be when you were 5? A ballerina? Are you taking ballet classes? A fireman? Are you volunteering on the local squad? What is it you could explore to satisfy a childhood urge? What dream do you have that seems so ridiculous that you've never given yourself permission to try? DO THAT! Write that book. Draw up those crazy tree house plans. Go make that monster sand castle. Go learn how to trim that hedge into a 17 foot long Chinese New Year's dragon! The fruitfulness that these kinds of silly-seeming-things will do for your marriage is immeasurable. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Ok. But all infertility treatments and no play make grown up Jack and Jill a miserable, grumbling mess. It's time to give yourself permission to play again - and be playful. No one ever won at life by engaging in a misery marathon. Just choose to wake up and not own that mess tomorrow. Remind yourself of the things you used to enjoy. And don't allow yourself to feel depressed at how long it's been since that was "your thing". No regrets. More hopscotch.

5. Imitate a lighthouse and be that for your spouse.Guys, you have to be able to reach your spouse. Through the fog, you have to be that brilliant beacon. You're already not going gentle into that dark night. Make it easy to find one another. Just like you have those unspoken gestures for a party when you are ready to leave, you need to add this to the repertoire. Make sure that your spouse understands what triggers you in your infertility haze. But go a step further. Find a way to help them climb out of it when you can't prevent it. Be a clown. Be your spouses' hero and they will fall madly in love with you over and over again each time. I'm not exaggerating. Being a silent, vigilant advocate for your spouses' heart is one of the most powerful things you can do. You're their favorite person. You're their LOBSTER, for goodness sakes. If you don't know how to be the lighthouse in the storm, you need to talk to each other and figure that out. With this as a foundation, and God on your side, and your faith leading you.... there is less and less room left for blame or spousal discontent. You literally become two peas in a pod, two kids in an ice fort, two bears in a cave, two whatever-you-think-is-cuter-than-those-analogies. Together, doing it together. Thriving happens when you aren't needing to be focused so much on surviving each other. If it's the two of you against infertility, you're going to win (baby or no baby). Like any other form of adversity, your union and communion are the keys to overcoming the hurdles. It's all there already because it came with your sacrament. And yet it's so hard to live, isn't it?

6. Use your infertile powers for good.How many other couples do you know who can look at their wives and basically know she is ovulating? How many other marriages do you know where the husband and wife can inject hormones into each other, while assessing the best spot for delivery that won't lead to intramuscular pain or knotting? How many other marriages do you know where the husband and wife can calculate pill dosages, when to reorder, and basically act like a chemist in their own home to save money? And how many other marriages do you know of where the prescriptions have such an impact on the budget that both spouses become better cooks in order to minimize the economy of consumables throughout the month? FACE IT. You guys have super powers. You are much more capable now than you were even months ago. And managing the things you manage - with relative ease - well, that stuff scares the hair off most peaches. Give yourself CREDIT for being awesome, being up to whatever-it-takes, and for managing things with as much grace as you have. In fact, (I'm going to get raw here) think of how many people reading this have experience with the kind of infertility that involves miscarriage, RPL, or infant death. There are a lot, I will tell you that. Those people are managing all of what I mentioned above AND dealing with the realities of loss. A marriage that can manage loss like that and still find a way to keep romance alive between the spouses - that's the goal. I don't care how tenuously strung that romance is. And it doesn't matter where you are on the hope-o-meter either. But making the effort counts for the full gold star, people. Use what you've accomplished and survived and surmounted as a feather in your cap. Find ways to build each other up. Husband not good at math? Reward him with praise when he does the budget. Wife not good with chores? Reward her with something she loves when she finally gets up the steam to do them. Stop cutting under each other and start looking for ways to make that boat do more than float. You are already rockstars...and you make other newlyweds and veteran married folk pale in comparison at your MAD MARRIAGE skills. Take a moment to enjoy that. They are slow clapping for you because of how resilient you are and how unsinkable you've become.

7. Die a quick death to yourself.No one makes it out of this ride alive. So given that we're all headed for the earthworms, it's time to institute some kind of regular source of humor in your lives. Learn how to make fun of yourself. Welcome embarrassment if you have to, it doesn't matter. You HAVE to get over yourself. It ain't gonna work any other way. I know because I already tried the bazillion other ways. If you come through infertility with  nothing more than a healthy way to laugh at yourself and your spouse..... you are 100% winning. It's not a consolation prize. In fact, in comparison, I almost think a baby would be the consolation prize in that scenario. (Maybe). The truth remains that you have to find what works. And let's be honest, we alllllll know what doesn't work. We're masters and 4th degree black belts in that venture, aren't we? So try something scary and uncomfortable and give self-deprecation a try. God isn't too impressed with our pride and esteem for ourselves anyway. He has been waiting for us to choose to thrive too. And I think He's going to richly reward our efforts to find light hearts with each other in your marriage. And that's why "just relax" is so hideous a piece of advice. Because relaxing has nothing to do with making things better. You can relax when you get that salvation Christ already paid for...and until then, I'm pretty sure it's trash duty and yes, dear for most of us.

This post has been brought to you by me yelling at myself for things I and we need to do in my/our marriage. It just happened to turn into a 7QT post on its own... :P In all seriousness though, I tried to write this as close to my own face as I could - because that's what infertility does to us - steals our peripheral and long distance sight. I hope that approach was helpful!

Choose to thrive in one small way today. And if you fail in a flaming pile of unrecognizable shards - try again tomorrow another way. You'll get there. I just wish that when we all get there, there were babies being handed out instead of medals. But then, that's not a new theme for me.

Be gentle to yourselves. And thank you so much to everyone for continuing to read along in this infertility series!

This post is the sixth post in a series on infertility. If you'd like to read from the beginning, click on the picture below to read the original post in the series where all of the posts will be linked.

Seven Quick Takes (#9)

Lots and lots and lots going on this week. Welcome to my 9th edition of 7QT, and it's going to be pretty NFP heavy y'all. Time has ben flying over here this month. They weren't kidding when they said March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, were they?? Are we in lamb territory yet? :)
                                          

FCP Training - As you may have noticed from the counter on the right hand side of this blog, it's time for my actual FCP training. EP1 is about 1,000 miles away from where I sit as of this moment...so a roadtripping I shall go. We started this venture on Fat Tuesday and we can't believe how fast you (and God) have answered our big YES to this calling. It truly, truly would not be happening without all of you! The excitement for what's ahead (learning new stuff, geeking out on something I already really dig, and all of the unfortunate amazing car dancing in my near future is pretty palpable here. That excitement is only grounded by the gravity of the work and studying that is ahead of me. And *gulp*, just to make it all-the-more intimidating, I've just learned in the past 24 hours that the training is 100% filled with doctors.... except.... you know... ME. Nothing to see here. Just a small little freak out about how crazy that detail is. As I said before, I will never, ever forget how this career began.

What Infertile Women Eat - This was a week where I went with this logic: Can't have gluten, dairy, nuts, nightshades, or refined sugar? Eat more bacon. Big, thick, natural slices of bacon. Oink. That's not the important part of this WIWE update though. There is such an exciting food detail ahead of me, I don't know *what* to do to properly express my excitement about it. It takes a LOT to evoke excitement on the category of food anymore. So y'all funded my tuition in record time and then people started asking to cover travel expenses...then food. The Lord kept bringing you to my doorstep to help, we kept saying yes, and then it got delicious. A generous couple has donated an entire week's worth of Paleo AIP meals to me for this training. They bought it from a service called Paleo to Go. It's basically a gourmet chef who cooks exactly for your food needs, then the food is delivered to you. I'm SO excited about it because traveling involves an inevitable amount of itchiness, allergic reactions, gastro issues, etc. that come up because off-limits stuff gets hidden in your food no matter what you do. I've been on trips before where I basically had to survive on lettuce for a week. It's not fun. But not this time! This trip will be as simple as opening a custom packed box later today and putting all the wholesome safe meals into the fridge. Y'all spoiled me!

Prayer Request - Please pray for my long road trip to be safe, for my training to be fruitful, and for all of the doctors at this educational program to bring pro-life NFP in the form of C.reighton back to their hometowns.

A year of "parenthood" - It has taken a while to share news of my miscarriages openly, but I took the plunge publicly on my facebook page on our 1st child's 1st birthday. An outpouring of love from everyone ensued and my heart felt a little less heavy. It was all anxiety and tears before the post and none after it, so I know the Holy Spirit was close by.
"Today would have been the 1st birthday of our 1st child, Ruadhán Pádraig. As you all celebrate the Feast of St. Patrick this year, know that we are mourning the loss of a child who is not with us. There is no birthday cake and no balloons. There is no party or giggling baby. What I have learned from my first year of "parenthood" is that this child was not *just* a miscarriage as so many have told me. His death cannot be explained away as some trite explanation of God's "plan". And this sadness and emptiness that we feel is not something you "get over with time". There is a Ruadhán-sized hole that is cauterized right into the flesh of my heart. I am the only place he ever called home before he went home to be with Christ, so I am forever changed by the short time I was granted to be his Earthly mother. Our hearts and our minds connect with our children the moment we know they are there, no matter how tiny. Perhaps the words of Laura Bush say it all better than I can manage on a day like today: "The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence. For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend, we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful some not. Still we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only “I’m sorry for your loss.” But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"







The power of prayer - At the risk of sounding like a broken record on the topic of prayers, I wanted to remind everyone to take a moment and think of someone you can pray for in your life. Sometimes, the prayers we offer, organize, and deliver can have a powerful impact on the people around us. I've done three spiritual bouquets since I initially published this card. And over 100 people have downloaded it to make their own bouquet. Do you have a Lenten prayer buddy? Is a family member sick? Is someone you know falling on hard times? Is there a reason to offer prayers of thanksgiving for something amazing in your life? All of those things are a great reason to put your prayers together in support of someone else in a tangible way. HERE is what it is like for someone to open up a spiritual bouquet. It makes a difference.














Your messages to us - This week, since I'll be on the road, I'd like to pray rosaries for my readers' intentions. If you have any intentions that you'd like me to pray for you...just throw them down in the comments of this thread or send me a message on our contact form! I'm very happy to do it. Remember that no intention is trivial - send them all my way! <3

This Ain't the Lyceum - Don't forget to visit the host of 7QT!

P.S. You get an additional one this week with the Irish Feasting and all. Go make yourself some of these. Tá tú fáilte roimh! :)

Seven Quick Takes (#8)

Another giant week...I can hardly believe time is flying through this Lenten season as fast as it is. Here were some noteable updates from our week. I know, I know. We've been posting all week...and there's still more to share!!

                                          

FCP Training - UPDATED: We have exactly 2 weeks until I start my training. And guys? GUYS!! We'll be going into this fully funded!!!!!!!!! We're grateful for all the help...and by grateful, we mean that our jaws are on the floor and our hearts have swelled with the outpouring of love you've shown us. We started this venture on Fat Tuesday and we can't believe how fast you (and God) have answered our big YES to this new adventure. Each day that passes fills me with more excitement. That excitement is only grounded by the gravity of the work and studying that is ahead of me. This didn't happen without your generous support and your giant hearts. I'll be taking your intentions with me to EP1, which is very fittingly being held in a church called the Prince of Peace. Each night, I will offer up my training for all of the selfless people who have made this opportunity possible. Your silent witness and support of me, my DH, and this blog have filled me with faith, hope, and love. I will never, ever forget how this career began.

What Infertile Women Eat - I'm so infertile, I broke a crockpot this week. Y'all, that takes some skill. My bone broth days are on hold for a while because of this. Sigh. That's ok, I'll live. But only because the crockpot didn't kill me or burn the house down! I'll never forget the sound it made when it exploded. In fact, if I might whine for a second here about something more important on the food front: why are these Paleo AIP reintroductions so flipping hard?? Nightshades are 100% out right now. Like, no two ways about it. That makes me so cranky. Potatoes. Tomatoes. Peppers. Eggplants. Cashews. The inhumanity of it....is truly cruel. Alright, alright, enough with the melodrama. Back to how hardcore I am for breaking my crockpot by cooking too much! Most of what I ate this week was super boring and involved chicken and rice. In soup form. In non-soup form. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Prayer Request Update - My father-in-law was released from the hospital today and allowed to go back home. Thank you to everyone for the outpouring of love and prayers you sent his way. They've made for wonderful conversations between us about the saints and shrines around the world. I should also mention that my father-in-law isn't necessarily better, but the public health hospital says it's time for his GP to manage things on an out-patient basis. Today was a rough day for DH. He literally spent the entire day being yelled at by a cranky father on food strike who was trying to convince him to do things that specifically go against his doctors' orders. We know that behavior changes are part of major illnesses. DH needed a lot of love and support tonight and he could use your prayers too. 75 year-olds don't like to be told what to do (and I don't blame them). This adjustment and role reversal are going to take time to figure out. And if today was any indication, it's going to be as graceful as a bull in a china shop. 

Blog Dedication - We'll be posting more about this soon, but we wanted you to know that we are dedicating this blog to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

We ask that this website may make a humble contribution to all who read it with glory given only to God (and none for ourselves). We seek this in what we write, draw, ask, discuss, and reflect here... including the humor that we poke at our own difficulties. May the Two Hearts lift our hearts and those of our readers in every way as they peruse the words we place here.

O, Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, You to Whom we owe everything, please bless all that we share here and guide us in our faith to grow closer to You.

If you would like to pray a novena to the Two Hearts, you can read more about that here. We pray for twins all the time and the Two Hearts Novena is a special way that we pray about our own hopes for parenthood, whatever form that might take in God's Plan. If you have prayed the novena, we'd love to hear about your experience.










Twitter - We are up and chirping as of this week. Feel free to follow us there if you'd like!

Bloglovin' - We know some of our readers like to follow us there too, so feel free to add us to your reading list there as well. We claimed our blog there this week.

   

Your messages to us - We heard from a lot of you sharing your prayer intentions with us this week. We've kept you all in prayer. If you asked us to pray for you, we're saying an Our Father and a Hail Mary for you nightly in Irish. Keep using our contact form and asking! We love hearing from our readers and we are very happy to pray for you and your intentions! <3

This Ain't the Lyceum - Don't forget to visit the host of 7QT!

Seven Quick Takes (#7)

With a full week of Lent under us this year, there are no signs of things slowing down over here!! Here's our 7th edition of 7QT and it's action packed! Thank you to everyone for praying and supporting us through this giant past week. We felt your love and support the entire way.

                                          

FCP Training - We have been nothing short of drop-jaw-amazed at the generosity of our friends, and their friends, and even complete strangers this week. At every turn of this journey to discern becoming an FCP, the path has been cleared. This week was no different. With only 20 calendar days until this training session begins, I'm happy to announce that I just learned that I've been ACCEPTED into the program and I've been granted a $1,000 grant from OSV for this training. Thank you to everyone for encouraging me to apply. I know we have a lot of work ahead (and a ton of studying!!), but this path is already enormously blessed and my faith has been doubled and redoubled in God's plan for us this year. Since we originally posted the "donate" button --> on our page on Fat Tuesday, you all have donated $274.93 out of the $4,000 remaining funds needed. If we have been the focus of your almsgiving this Lent, know that you have our humble thanks and our constant prayers. We still have quite a bit of fundraising to do before I travel all those miles to training. I hope you will prayerfully consider helping me get there. More details/updates in the weeks to come!

What Infertile Women Eat - This week involved a wonderful treat that I shared with friends. Korean food was on the menu this time and our Wednesday dinner was a special treat because of it. Skirt steak from my local butcher (pastured and grassfed!) that we marinated all day, chopped across the grain, and turned into Korean bulgogi. And that's not all! We actually served it as lettuce wraps, so we made a food assembly line on the kitchen island and we lined up all the options. Romaine lettuce leaves, jasmine steamed rice, bulgogi meat, mushrooms and scallions and carrots sauteed in sesame oil, (homemade) mak kimchi cooked down with some veggies and oil, crumbled nori (seaweed), sesame seeds, and a delicious ssamjang to top it all off (and of course raw mak kimchi as banchan!). We enjoyed it with a lovely chilled Virginia Viognier and it was a fantastic pairing.

Prayer Request Update - So many people from around the US and the world have been praying for my dear father-in-law. As many of you know, the Irish are not known for their over-the-top expressions of emotion. But this week involved a lot of really scary moments...so emotions were in full force. Lots of expressions of love going all the way around. Our only good news so far came today that swelling and lung fluid are slowly retreating. He hasn't been able to even talk the past few days because he's been struggling for air that much. Thank you to all the people keeping my beloved family in prayer. I'm deeply indebted to you for the thoughtfulness and for each of you raising up your suffering for him to our Lord. And we've shared each prayer offering with him...and he continues to be amazed at all the people praying to St. Anthony (his favorite intercessor) with him.

Printable Spiritual Prayer Bouquet - Speaking of prayers!! This got published under-the-radar because I needed it to be at the time (remember when I mentioned it here?). I organized my first spiritual bouquet this past month. The project began on January 20th and it ended on February 20th. I will be posting some pictures of what my prayer bouquet looked like once it was complete, what it entailed, how I approached it. It was an entire month dedicated to rosaries, novenas, mass offerings, adoration hours, fasting, and acts of charity. The completed prayer bouquet is en route to the recipient via snail mail and I want her to be the first to see the completed project before I share anything here. This bouquet was compiled for a very specific tribute and I hope it expresses all the love that was put into it. So for now, I'm sharing the link to the FREE printable cards (with instructions!) I created that you can download here to make your own spiritual bouquet. Share. Pray. Repeat.

St. Monica, My 2015 Patron Saint - She continues to kick some tail, this awesome saint. When I originally pulled this saint for my patron, I was a bit confused at how she could be my intercessor. And then a friend confided in me about abuse in her marriage. Then another friend confided in me about her marriage falling apart from difficulties. Then another friend confided in me about infidelity in her marriage. Then another friend confided in me about mental illness breaking up a marriage. Over a period of three weeks, I've learned some dark, dark things going on in marriages all around me (in some pretty devout Catholic couples!). My husband and I are taking this "spiritual attack" very seriously and we are praying vigilantly for ourselves and all marriages - that God would offer protection to all those who shared this sacred bond. St. Monica, pray for us! She has done an AWESOME job supporting these prayers so far...so please consider her as your own intercessor if you know someone struggling! 

   

Speaking of prayers again - you have been reaching out to us and asking us to pray for you. Keep using our contact form and asking! We love hearing from our readers and we are very happy to pray for you. We've been asked if you need to donate to our CrMS training fund in order for us to offer prayers for you and I just want to give a great big NO to that question. Our prayers are offered free of any obligation. We'll never offer to pray for you with conditions. That said, we know some of you are donating in memory of children. If you *have* asked us to pray for a special intention along with your contribution, know that we are keeping those intentions in nightly prayers as well. Accept all as Christ, right? <3

This Ain't the Lyceum - Don't forget to visit the host of 7QT! 

Seven Quick Takes (#6)

It has been *such* a busy week!! I hope you all are having a fruitful Lent so far. I know mine kicked off with quite the bang...and the rest (you know, all 72 hours of it...) has just been a matter of holding by the seat of my pants! Here goes:




Lent is upon us, truly. Right now I have an urgent prayer request of my readers: VERY URGENT need for prayers for my father-in-law. The next 48 hours are super important for him and we are praying for his liver and heart functioning to miraculously improve. Please, please pray with us.

FCP Training - an update on training and fundraising. So far, I have officially raised $145 towards the $5,000 needed for FCP training. I know that it's a lot to ask anyone for a donation, and I'm humbled to be in a position to *have to* here, but I wanted to offer a heartfelt thank you to all of those who have made a contribution. I'm moved by your kindness and generosity. Many of the donations have been very small...and it just about brings tears to my eyes when I see people helping us get over this hurdle $2 and $5 at a time with their hard-earned money. Please continue to keep our fundraising efforts in your prayers. If you would like us to pray for a special intention when you donate, just send us a message on the contact form...because we're praying for all our helpers! We're still waiting to hear back on the scholarship, so keep your fingers crossed we are approved for that! We definitely need that support to bridge the gap of our fundraising efforts here on the blog.





What Infertile Women Eat - For those on restricted diets (especially GF ones), Fat Tuesday goes a little differently. It's not the pancake-fest that it might be for the rest of the Catholic world on that day. So what's a gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, nut-free, nightshade-free girl to do on a day that calls for splurging?! Well, I'll tell you it wasn't a sacrifice, first of all. It definitely felt like a party too. The day started out with crepes I made using this ingenious Paleo naan recipe. I made them thinner than she does and I added honey and cinnamon to mine. Once they were fully cooked, I stuffed them with coconut cream and no-sugar-added blackberry preserves and drizzled them with melted ghee. Like I said, totally not a compromise! Dinner was a rare treat. The local sushi bar had a cheap "all you can eat sushi" night on Fat Tuesday. I'm not kidding!! It wasn't a buffet either, they made your meal to order. This was round one of the embarrassing volume of sushi eaten. Top left is yellowtail with scallions, top right is salmon avocado roll, and bottom is GF-panko-tempura sweet potato roll.




Weight Loss - Recently I realized that I have been keeping a giant accomplishment to myself and that it might help others to read about a victory happening over here as a result of NaPro treatment. I began taking LDN in May 2014. Everything leading up to that was kind of hit-and-miss in my treatment, excepting my surgical endometriosis excision. Once I was on LDN though, weight started to rapidly fall off. Half a stone (7 lbs) that first week. And on and on it went. It eventually slowed, but the loss has not yet stopped. The graph to the left represents 69 lbs lost since I began LDN. It's a huge deal. And I didn't talk about it. How Irish of me.... :P





The Tiny Catholic Bubble - This week I was in a unique situation to help a friend in need. It involved some research into a subject that should have been easy to find information about...and yet for days, I found myself calling and emailing and trying to find people or resources that might help. And you know who ended up being the most helpful, despite all the people, places, organizations, and hotlines I contacted? My tiny little Catholic bubble. That is, it was my priest friends, my Catholic volunteer friends, my missionary friends, those with least access to information and computers who made time to help. I was reminded in a big way this week just how important our small networks are when it comes to our shared faith in times of need. It was a heartwarming experience to have an opportunity to see that more clearly this week. At the same time, I'm starting to understand more and more as each day passes  why St. Monica is on my side this year!!

Comedy of Ashes - Sharing two hilarious takes on Ash Wednesday here. I know, I know...no one thinks "comedy" when they think Ash Wednesday, but trust me - these will make you smile! The first is a funny commentary from Daniel Bearman about how it's not a holy day of obligation, yet constantly high on attendance. The second is from my friend Bill Donaghy, who captured the essence of what we all think about Ash Wednesday... and for the record, load toner was what I was given this year. Bwahaha. Unto dust I shall return...

Diocesan Love - One of the American diocese liked our Virtual Marriage Retreat so much that they republished our post on their diocesan blog Encourage and Teach! I can't hardly express how humbled and excited it made me that our little blog had something to offer their readers. It made my birthday really special to learn that news, as you can imagine, but it's even cooler seeing it posted now! Go take a look at their facebook post and the blog post. Hope you all will consider trying out the retreat.

This Ain't the Lyceum -  Don't forget to visit the host of 7QT!