Seven Quick Takes (#11) - Blogiversary Edition

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1. So it's officially been a year since I sat down at the keys and figured out how to make a blog! And then, miracle-of-miracles, I kept up with it. So, umm, that's never happened before... And while it feels like an accomplishment unto itself, this blogiversary is also a stark realization that I am not yet a mother to a living child. It doesn't weigh on me as heavily every day as it did a year ago, and that's a good thing. There is no less desire in my heart for a child... but I focus on the likelihood of it happening a lot less now than I did when I first sat down and put my fingers on the keys. I've been conceiving hope in other ways, trying to make the best of this infertile prison... while I watch everyone else leave the island. It's a surreal feeling. I write this not so much as a depressing update, but as a reminder to all that the pains of infertility don't always end in having living children. So many of the people I have met online since this journey began (read: most) have moved on to family life raising children. That's just not our story. And I actually think it gives a little hope to others in the same situation to remind them that they aren't alone. Our dreams haven't come true either. We're praying with you.

2. I never set out to write a blog that got a lot of clicks. And it's a good thing I didn't measure any success on that. But while the traffic here stays low, the private interaction with my audience stays high. You all are searching for the same answers I'm searching for... and when I get up the courage to write a prayer, offer friendly advice, or seek to pray with you, it seems to matter to you. So thank you, dear readers. I hope you will continue on this journey with me as I try to make sense of the God's Plan. I'm slowly getting out of my blindered IF haze and starting to learn how to live life again. Gracious thanks for your encouragement! And thank you to everyone who prayed along with me on the Twin Novena that I finished today!

3. Y'all apparently love a good series, advice, prayers, recipes, and a little controversy! The most shared, read, pinned, and tweeted posts seem to be the ones that are really written with a raw heart here. One of the things I set out to do at the beginning of this was to write the posts I was looking for and couldn't find. I wanted to be able to have concrete words to give people to say this is what infertility really is and this is why IVF is wrong and any number of posts I haven't even been able to write and publish yet. My hope is that the traffic on these posts means you were looking for the same. Any time you comment, I feel encouraged... so keep it up if you find this content helpful! :)

4. There has been some change going on in my life recently (hence being at the keys a little less). I can't really talk about any of it publicly yet, even with this being an anonymous blog. Some of the change is for good, some of it isn't. We'll have to see how it all pans out. In the meantime, I'm trying to distract myself with my studies and to be the best at FCP-ing as I can be. So far, I'm about 1/4 the way through the program to certification. It's not much yet, but I'm doing really well with what I have already accomplished and hoping that streak continues. I'll reach the 1/2 way point in September 2015.... so keep me in your prayers for that? Thanks!

5. After many months (read: years!) of craziness in my luteal phase, I've reached a good and stable post peak phase of 15 days. PMS is gone for the most part, thanks to my post peak supplementation and the LDN. Now it's just a matter of trying to figure out the ovulation defect and how to improve that. A doctor recently mentioned that micro-hCG injections pre-peak could be the way to stimulate better ovulation for people like me. I'm interested in learning more and will let you know what I find in my research. But seriously... back to the absence of PMS... there needs to be a parade!!!

6. It's been a while since I gave an update on Duck Watch here on the blog. It's an idea I came up with last October that involves a mighty adventure. The adventure has not yet unfolded, nor have the ducky details. Right now, all you know is that it involves a duck. Potentially some water. Potentially a traveling adventure. And it will likely happen in 2015. Ravenous for a clue? Care to venture a guess? Here you go: It's American, French, and English at the same time...and manages to be very gassy while still being terribly classy, if you can imagine that.








7. Remember to give the 7QT host some love! It's been a while since I linked up, but I hope you enjoyed this little edition! :)

Seven Quick Takes (#9)

Lots and lots and lots going on this week. Welcome to my 9th edition of 7QT, and it's going to be pretty NFP heavy y'all. Time has ben flying over here this month. They weren't kidding when they said March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, were they?? Are we in lamb territory yet? :)
                                          

FCP Training - As you may have noticed from the counter on the right hand side of this blog, it's time for my actual FCP training. EP1 is about 1,000 miles away from where I sit as of this moment...so a roadtripping I shall go. We started this venture on Fat Tuesday and we can't believe how fast you (and God) have answered our big YES to this calling. It truly, truly would not be happening without all of you! The excitement for what's ahead (learning new stuff, geeking out on something I already really dig, and all of the unfortunate amazing car dancing in my near future is pretty palpable here. That excitement is only grounded by the gravity of the work and studying that is ahead of me. And *gulp*, just to make it all-the-more intimidating, I've just learned in the past 24 hours that the training is 100% filled with doctors.... except.... you know... ME. Nothing to see here. Just a small little freak out about how crazy that detail is. As I said before, I will never, ever forget how this career began.

What Infertile Women Eat - This was a week where I went with this logic: Can't have gluten, dairy, nuts, nightshades, or refined sugar? Eat more bacon. Big, thick, natural slices of bacon. Oink. That's not the important part of this WIWE update though. There is such an exciting food detail ahead of me, I don't know *what* to do to properly express my excitement about it. It takes a LOT to evoke excitement on the category of food anymore. So y'all funded my tuition in record time and then people started asking to cover travel expenses...then food. The Lord kept bringing you to my doorstep to help, we kept saying yes, and then it got delicious. A generous couple has donated an entire week's worth of Paleo AIP meals to me for this training. They bought it from a service called Paleo to Go. It's basically a gourmet chef who cooks exactly for your food needs, then the food is delivered to you. I'm SO excited about it because traveling involves an inevitable amount of itchiness, allergic reactions, gastro issues, etc. that come up because off-limits stuff gets hidden in your food no matter what you do. I've been on trips before where I basically had to survive on lettuce for a week. It's not fun. But not this time! This trip will be as simple as opening a custom packed box later today and putting all the wholesome safe meals into the fridge. Y'all spoiled me!

Prayer Request - Please pray for my long road trip to be safe, for my training to be fruitful, and for all of the doctors at this educational program to bring pro-life NFP in the form of C.reighton back to their hometowns.

A year of "parenthood" - It has taken a while to share news of my miscarriages openly, but I took the plunge publicly on my facebook page on our 1st child's 1st birthday. An outpouring of love from everyone ensued and my heart felt a little less heavy. It was all anxiety and tears before the post and none after it, so I know the Holy Spirit was close by.
"Today would have been the 1st birthday of our 1st child, Ruadhán Pádraig. As you all celebrate the Feast of St. Patrick this year, know that we are mourning the loss of a child who is not with us. There is no birthday cake and no balloons. There is no party or giggling baby. What I have learned from my first year of "parenthood" is that this child was not *just* a miscarriage as so many have told me. His death cannot be explained away as some trite explanation of God's "plan". And this sadness and emptiness that we feel is not something you "get over with time". There is a Ruadhán-sized hole that is cauterized right into the flesh of my heart. I am the only place he ever called home before he went home to be with Christ, so I am forever changed by the short time I was granted to be his Earthly mother. Our hearts and our minds connect with our children the moment we know they are there, no matter how tiny. Perhaps the words of Laura Bush say it all better than I can manage on a day like today: "The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence. For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend, we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful some not. Still we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only “I’m sorry for your loss.” But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"







The power of prayer - At the risk of sounding like a broken record on the topic of prayers, I wanted to remind everyone to take a moment and think of someone you can pray for in your life. Sometimes, the prayers we offer, organize, and deliver can have a powerful impact on the people around us. I've done three spiritual bouquets since I initially published this card. And over 100 people have downloaded it to make their own bouquet. Do you have a Lenten prayer buddy? Is a family member sick? Is someone you know falling on hard times? Is there a reason to offer prayers of thanksgiving for something amazing in your life? All of those things are a great reason to put your prayers together in support of someone else in a tangible way. HERE is what it is like for someone to open up a spiritual bouquet. It makes a difference.














Your messages to us - This week, since I'll be on the road, I'd like to pray rosaries for my readers' intentions. If you have any intentions that you'd like me to pray for you...just throw them down in the comments of this thread or send me a message on our contact form! I'm very happy to do it. Remember that no intention is trivial - send them all my way! <3

This Ain't the Lyceum - Don't forget to visit the host of 7QT!

P.S. You get an additional one this week with the Irish Feasting and all. Go make yourself some of these. Tá tú fáilte roimh! :)

Seven Quick Takes (#8)

Another giant week...I can hardly believe time is flying through this Lenten season as fast as it is. Here were some noteable updates from our week. I know, I know. We've been posting all week...and there's still more to share!!

                                          

FCP Training - UPDATED: We have exactly 2 weeks until I start my training. And guys? GUYS!! We'll be going into this fully funded!!!!!!!!! We're grateful for all the help...and by grateful, we mean that our jaws are on the floor and our hearts have swelled with the outpouring of love you've shown us. We started this venture on Fat Tuesday and we can't believe how fast you (and God) have answered our big YES to this new adventure. Each day that passes fills me with more excitement. That excitement is only grounded by the gravity of the work and studying that is ahead of me. This didn't happen without your generous support and your giant hearts. I'll be taking your intentions with me to EP1, which is very fittingly being held in a church called the Prince of Peace. Each night, I will offer up my training for all of the selfless people who have made this opportunity possible. Your silent witness and support of me, my DH, and this blog have filled me with faith, hope, and love. I will never, ever forget how this career began.

What Infertile Women Eat - I'm so infertile, I broke a crockpot this week. Y'all, that takes some skill. My bone broth days are on hold for a while because of this. Sigh. That's ok, I'll live. But only because the crockpot didn't kill me or burn the house down! I'll never forget the sound it made when it exploded. In fact, if I might whine for a second here about something more important on the food front: why are these Paleo AIP reintroductions so flipping hard?? Nightshades are 100% out right now. Like, no two ways about it. That makes me so cranky. Potatoes. Tomatoes. Peppers. Eggplants. Cashews. The inhumanity of it....is truly cruel. Alright, alright, enough with the melodrama. Back to how hardcore I am for breaking my crockpot by cooking too much! Most of what I ate this week was super boring and involved chicken and rice. In soup form. In non-soup form. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Prayer Request Update - My father-in-law was released from the hospital today and allowed to go back home. Thank you to everyone for the outpouring of love and prayers you sent his way. They've made for wonderful conversations between us about the saints and shrines around the world. I should also mention that my father-in-law isn't necessarily better, but the public health hospital says it's time for his GP to manage things on an out-patient basis. Today was a rough day for DH. He literally spent the entire day being yelled at by a cranky father on food strike who was trying to convince him to do things that specifically go against his doctors' orders. We know that behavior changes are part of major illnesses. DH needed a lot of love and support tonight and he could use your prayers too. 75 year-olds don't like to be told what to do (and I don't blame them). This adjustment and role reversal are going to take time to figure out. And if today was any indication, it's going to be as graceful as a bull in a china shop. 

Blog Dedication - We'll be posting more about this soon, but we wanted you to know that we are dedicating this blog to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

We ask that this website may make a humble contribution to all who read it with glory given only to God (and none for ourselves). We seek this in what we write, draw, ask, discuss, and reflect here... including the humor that we poke at our own difficulties. May the Two Hearts lift our hearts and those of our readers in every way as they peruse the words we place here.

O, Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, You to Whom we owe everything, please bless all that we share here and guide us in our faith to grow closer to You.

If you would like to pray a novena to the Two Hearts, you can read more about that here. We pray for twins all the time and the Two Hearts Novena is a special way that we pray about our own hopes for parenthood, whatever form that might take in God's Plan. If you have prayed the novena, we'd love to hear about your experience.










Twitter - We are up and chirping as of this week. Feel free to follow us there if you'd like!

Bloglovin' - We know some of our readers like to follow us there too, so feel free to add us to your reading list there as well. We claimed our blog there this week.

   

Your messages to us - We heard from a lot of you sharing your prayer intentions with us this week. We've kept you all in prayer. If you asked us to pray for you, we're saying an Our Father and a Hail Mary for you nightly in Irish. Keep using our contact form and asking! We love hearing from our readers and we are very happy to pray for you and your intentions! <3

This Ain't the Lyceum - Don't forget to visit the host of 7QT!

The Lord is Near

The past week has been nothing short of wonder-filled and awe-inspiring. Running a small fundraiser is a humbling experience, especially when your education is dependent upon it being successful. (Updated: we have completed this fundraiser, thank you so much for all of your timely help!).

At every turn this week, I have been reminded of Philippians 4:19. The peace of God that surpasses all understanding definitely surrounds me this week and I think that is a good sign that I'm on the right path to fulfill His will. Normally an endeavor like this would have me crawling up the walls for so many reasons, not the least of which would be: asking for help, the help involving money, a tight deadline, not knowing if all the effort will work out in the end.... But the Lord has felt near at every turn of this calling to undertake FCP training.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Have no anxiety at all...??  So if we bloggers are being honest - comboxes on the internet are mostly scary, dark places. Usually, right? Not the kind of place where you imagine conceiving hope too often... yet I put some of the most personal details about my life out onto the internet this past week.... and the combox (and my inbox!) filled up with the love of Christ. There is no way I could have imagined this Lenten journey a few months back when I started this blog. You all have been with me every step of the way, and your support increases daily. My husband and I are filled with amazement. We are deeply grateful, profoundly moved by your generosity and trust in us, and we are committed to doing good with what you have entrusted to us. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can read more here.

But let's talk a little about how the Lord is near...shall we? Five obvious ways:

First of all, the selflessness of all the contributors. Near and far, known and unknown, you have all deeply humbled us with your generosity. We have been praying for you by name each night together in our prayers. Your intentions have been taken to God in a special way. If we knew any details about your life, we made time to pray for them specifically. If we didn't know any details about your life, we prayed for God to watch over you and your family and to overwhelm you with His love. We prayed a rosary in Irish for all of you. And each night we have prayed an Our Father and a Hail Mary for you.

Second, the support of fellow bloggers and practitioners. You have spread our need to your circles and asked for our need yourselves. You have been our loudest supporters. And you have done all of this so humbly and creatively and sincerely. The effort has been rewarded by the growing tally on the top right, as you can see (and yes, I have included the scholarship amount in that total just for clarity's sake). The number climbs as a result of God's provisions, through your intercession. While I'm working hard to do everything I can to earn your contributions (and to add to the pot myself little by little), your support and prayers mean a lot.

Third, the Lord asked many things of me this week as a result of His provisions for this journey. And answering that call has not been straightforward or easy, per se. I am trying my best to be a good steward of the situations and circumstances that are brought to my doorstep. This week it involved counsel and fellowship with a faithful Catholic who was advised that IVF was licit by FIVE priests. Please pray for C to see the Truth and to keep trusting me (and another person) to dialogue with her on this topic. We are hopeful to lead her to N.aPro treatment for her unexplained infertility, but she is guarded and actively doing IVF and does not understand it is against her faith because of the advice she's been given by clergy. And please pray for the misguided priests who provided such counsel. I know they must have meant well and I'm not a big fan of criticizing clergy...but please pray for their formation on this topic to experience a profound reversion to the Truth.

Fourth, and maybe the most unique of the things I've experienced this week, is that I know how my contributors' Lent is going. We know God asks us to give quietly and without seeking praise. And that's why I'm offering it here anonymously. Quick thanks is important, but printing all of your names on the internet isn't a part of that. You don't have to worry about me divulging your personal contribution or sharing your name here. My husband and I know what each of you have done for us and we are praying for you individually. In a special way, we feel privileged to know that your Lenten alsmgiving this year is going phenomenally well. I know that most of you don't have a picture of what our life looks like in any real sense right now, but just know that I'm using shoe goo and duct tape like bandaids for a leaky air mattress over here in an empty house that needs to sell while I wait for training to begin. We know you are answering God's call in your own life by supporting this training and that has been about the awesomest window into your faith that we've ever had the honor to witness.

Fifth and lastly, this week also involved putting together my second prayer bouquet for the loss of a friend's child. Our own 1st child, Ruadhán Pádraig, conceived in 2013, has a due-date-anniversary fast approaching. He would have turned 1 on St. Patrick's Day. Imagine the complicated feelings of an Irish couple's first child having such a due date... so these particular prayers have involved many tears. And yet the Lord keeps asking more of me. I can't share everything He has laid at my feet just yet, but I keep saying YES to what He is asking of me right now. This journey to fundraising for my FCP training is becoming an epic test of my own ability to communicate and negotiate some of the most difficult parts of Church teaching on infertility treatments. All before I have the training that would help me to do so.....so please keep me in your prayers that I can continue to be a voice of Truth throughout these next few weeks. I get a sense this is foreshadowing for what is ahead!

Getting Personal: Answering Your Questions {UPDATED}

So we intend on making this Q & A post a recurring post for whenever we get reader questions...but this is the first edition.

Thank you for reading and while you're here, let's conceive hope together!

UPDATED: Fundraising is now complete! Thank you to everyone who read and shared this post while we were under a tight timeline to raise funds for this training. This FAQ post will remain on the blog, but the donation button has been removed. 

We've been doing some fundraising for the past week for my FCP training at the St. Gianna Center (it starts in just a little over 2 WEEKS!! (....gulp!). Lots of questions* have been flying in on the contact form, via email, and in facebook PMs. We're going to do our best to attempt to answer them here. If we receive any additional questions in the comments (here on the blog or on facebook), we'll update this post to include them here. And in case you missed it, read the blog post that inspired this Q&A.

*If you want to know the answer to the popular *why* question (i.e. why I'm doing FCP training!), you can skip to #9 for the roughest story I've had to tell on this blog yet...

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1) How can I make a donation to your FCP training fund?

UPDATED: We have removed the "Donate" button from this page as promised because fundraising is now complete. Thank you to everyone who so generously contributed.

2) How much is the average donation?

The donations have mostly been small amounts from a lot of different people. The amounts we're seeing the most are: $20, $25, and $50. Some people have emailed us to say they donated a specific amount for every miscarriage they've had. When I have done the math and compared it with their donation, it has brought tears to my eyes. I'm humbled to know how many little ones are lifting me up from above on this journey.

We appreciate all support and all donations large and small. Each person that has included us in their Lenten almsgiving has touched us in a profound way. We're normally the kind of contributors that do it quietly and anonymously, so it's humbling to watch people do that for us and to find ourselves on the other side of it.

3) How much money do you have left to raise?

The education program is divided into two parts: EP1 and EP2. I am fundraising *only* for EP1 right now. The program costs, without travel expenses or lodging or meals, just for EP1 training itself total $4,000. Here's the breakdown of that against what we've received in grants/donations so far:

 $4,000.00 EP1 training costs
-$1,000.00 Scholarship from OSV
-$3,000.00 private donations (UPDATED)
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$ nothing left to raise (UPDATED)

UPDATED: These costs do NOT include lodging, transportation, or meals. We're working hard to find resources for those separate from the donations that we have humbly asked for here. We're hoping the divide and conquer approach will help the two ends meet.

4) What is CrMS, what is an FCP, and what are you training for?

You have lots of questions about the C.reighton Model and I love them!

Here's the "what" question answered.
Here's a great introduction on the history of the method.
Here's a great outline of the education program, what it entails, and the timeline involved for training.

5) Why aren't you using a GoFundMe page to fundraise?

We researched all the methods for collecting donations and the button above takes the smallest percentage of YOUR donation. If you make a $20 donation to us for example, we get $19.94 of it using this method. Places like gofundme and carebridge and all the other "crowdsourcing" platforms take MUCH bigger chunks of each donation before they deliver the funds. Some of them will take a full 10-20% cut off the donation before they deliver the remainder to the recipient days later. I won't begrudge a business their need to make money on a transaction for providing a service and processing a credit card....but there is no reason for your hard-earned money to be lost to exorbitant merchant fees.

Yes, gofundme might be prettier than what we opted for here...but let's keep the money you intend to be spent on this CrMS education program...to be available for this training and not just a means to support a crowdsourcing platform. 

6) How will donations be spent?

100% of all donations will be spent on EP1 tuition, which must be paid up before March 20th. Y'all - I don't mess around with money. I was an accountant for years and years before I became a programmer. I run a tight budget and I demand accountability for every dollar spent. We will continue publishing the total donation amount as it grows (please, God). I will also make sure to publish a careful accounting of how every dollar is utilized. I'll be taking pictures and blogging about the training experience itself, so you will have complete transparency on this journey with me!

7) What will you do if you receive extra money?

UPDATED: The "unlikely" I mention below of needing to remove the "Donate" button happened. We caught the donations at $5 under our total funding need. Y'all, I've got that last $5 in pennies, nickels, and dimes - so we're good to go! We LOVE your optimism!! Praise God, but I think we're in greater danger of not being able to raise enough funds over the next 20 days than the opposite! I remain 50% hopeful we'll get there, and 50% petrified of not having enough and having to cancel at the last minute. With all that said, in the unlikely event that we receive more donations than needed, I will immediately remove the PayPal button from the blog and be in touch with contributors. We are following the donations carefully and will do everything in our power to prevent anything extra from being collected. That's our promise to you. God bless and thank you for your prayerful generosity.

8) What will you do if you don't raise enough?

UPDATED: No need to answer this question anymore, we raised everything we needed!! We are going to get there one way or the other. I'm dog-sitting and house-sitting and babysitting and open to sitting on anything else you need me to sit on in this attempt to raise money. While you are busy prayerfully discerning your contribution - we're doing our part to try and raise as much as we can through any means available. We are literally selling our belongings to make way for this. Kitchen equipment, the bed, the armoire, a computer, it's all out the door to raise more funds for this. Who needs material belongings anyway? :)

9) What made you want to become an FCP?

OK, so things are about to get SUPER personal for me here. Bear with me, I'm answering this question with tissues in hand. Last year (February 2014), I was working as a programmer for a marketing company. I had enjoyed 3 years' tenure in the position and enjoyed that challenge each day brought with it. I was up for a raise and a promotion, so I knew it was going to be a good month. Reviews had just been completed, so it was just a matter of time before I saw the good news in my paycheck that I had already been promised.

And just like that... one Saturday morning I got a +HPT. We were overjoyed and all seemed to be going well in our world. After a sea of medical interventions though (I have low progesterone)....no amount of shots or pills was enough to save our baby. We lost her not even halfway through the first trimester, despite every effort to save her.

As you can imagine, it was a rough time for us. I was in pieces. I asked for a few days off work for bereavement leave (and was so grateful my company allowed for that!). Not only did I feel incapable of sitting in an ultra-modern office building in a WHITE LEATHER OFFICE CHAIR while I was bleeding and physically living through the loss....but I just knew I wouldn't be any use to anyone and I'd be a messy spectacle of tears. It was a sorely needed break. I was quickly granted written permission from my supervisor, took my three days, and that was that.

Fast forward to that good professional news I was expecting. When I was back at work the next week, I was called into a meeting - with HR, my supervisor, and her director. Instead of being offered the raise and promotion I had been promised, I was told that I had improperly used bereavement leave. My miscarriage was not an "appropriate use of company bereavement leave because it didn't involve the death of an immediate family member". No one cared about my written permission from my supervisor and no one wanted to discuss anything. I was caught completely flat-footed with my jaw hanging open, as you can well imagine. I was told that I was being terminated effective immediately, that my desk would be cleared out for me, that I would not be allowed to say goodbye to my colleagues, and I would be escorted to my vehicle to leave the premises immediately.

My brain was spinning. I was being treated like a criminal in a place I had devoted the past 3 years of my professional life to! It was surreal and profoundly painful all at once. I'll never know how (Holy Spirit, ya'll!!) I found the grace to tell them all that I forgave them and that I would be praying for them in that moment. When I look back, it seems an impossible way to react. I was angry, hurt, red-faced, and completely crushed...and yet the love of Christ came out of my mouth. Maybe there is hope for me...

And that's how I became unemployed and a new journey began. As you can imagine, I was wrecked for weeks...months?...and that wound left a deep scar. I began this blog as a way to process some of the intense emotions I felt regarding infertility, our losses, charting, and all the medical interventions and treatments we underwent. The seed for becoming an FCP was planted along the way as I realized how much God had used that terrible work situation to powerfully form my heart and my conscience on the topic of personhood, the dignity of marriage and family, and the innate value of ALL life from conception. And God has continued to use that tiny seed with fertilizer and water and the warmest sunshine He can muster.

No one deserves to live through what I've had to with my last miscarriage, but it was that situation that helped me recognize that there is a larger calling in my life to support the pro-life movement now. The best way I know  how to honor my family - and the lives of the children that we have lost - is to put myself to work in a profession where the kind of thing I just described can never, ever happen again. I want to be a part of the solution. If this testimony (which was hard to write) speaks to you in any way - please let us know you are supporting us in prayer. And if you are able, please (UPDATED: fundraising is not complete!) prayerfully consider a donation for my education that can be made at the top right of this page.

I hope that answers the big "why" question everyone is asking us. It's a painful "YES" we're giving on this one...and we are indebted to everyone supporting us in answering God's calling in our life on this very personal topic. And yes, y'all have been nagging me for MONTHS to do this... so you've definitely carried me on your shoulders through the tough parts of this journey to get where I am today!

10) I have other questions... 

We will answer them the best we know how - just leave us a message in the comments section or drop us a line on the contact form at the top of the page and we'll be in touch ASAP. If it's a private and specific question - we'll answer you directly in private. If it is an FAQ kind of question, we'll post it here for everyone's benefit.

***In case you missed the post that inspired this Q&A, you can read about My Big Fat Tuesday here.***

Seven Quick Takes (#7)

With a full week of Lent under us this year, there are no signs of things slowing down over here!! Here's our 7th edition of 7QT and it's action packed! Thank you to everyone for praying and supporting us through this giant past week. We felt your love and support the entire way.

                                          

FCP Training - We have been nothing short of drop-jaw-amazed at the generosity of our friends, and their friends, and even complete strangers this week. At every turn of this journey to discern becoming an FCP, the path has been cleared. This week was no different. With only 20 calendar days until this training session begins, I'm happy to announce that I just learned that I've been ACCEPTED into the program and I've been granted a $1,000 grant from OSV for this training. Thank you to everyone for encouraging me to apply. I know we have a lot of work ahead (and a ton of studying!!), but this path is already enormously blessed and my faith has been doubled and redoubled in God's plan for us this year. Since we originally posted the "donate" button --> on our page on Fat Tuesday, you all have donated $274.93 out of the $4,000 remaining funds needed. If we have been the focus of your almsgiving this Lent, know that you have our humble thanks and our constant prayers. We still have quite a bit of fundraising to do before I travel all those miles to training. I hope you will prayerfully consider helping me get there. More details/updates in the weeks to come!

What Infertile Women Eat - This week involved a wonderful treat that I shared with friends. Korean food was on the menu this time and our Wednesday dinner was a special treat because of it. Skirt steak from my local butcher (pastured and grassfed!) that we marinated all day, chopped across the grain, and turned into Korean bulgogi. And that's not all! We actually served it as lettuce wraps, so we made a food assembly line on the kitchen island and we lined up all the options. Romaine lettuce leaves, jasmine steamed rice, bulgogi meat, mushrooms and scallions and carrots sauteed in sesame oil, (homemade) mak kimchi cooked down with some veggies and oil, crumbled nori (seaweed), sesame seeds, and a delicious ssamjang to top it all off (and of course raw mak kimchi as banchan!). We enjoyed it with a lovely chilled Virginia Viognier and it was a fantastic pairing.

Prayer Request Update - So many people from around the US and the world have been praying for my dear father-in-law. As many of you know, the Irish are not known for their over-the-top expressions of emotion. But this week involved a lot of really scary moments...so emotions were in full force. Lots of expressions of love going all the way around. Our only good news so far came today that swelling and lung fluid are slowly retreating. He hasn't been able to even talk the past few days because he's been struggling for air that much. Thank you to all the people keeping my beloved family in prayer. I'm deeply indebted to you for the thoughtfulness and for each of you raising up your suffering for him to our Lord. And we've shared each prayer offering with him...and he continues to be amazed at all the people praying to St. Anthony (his favorite intercessor) with him.

Printable Spiritual Prayer Bouquet - Speaking of prayers!! This got published under-the-radar because I needed it to be at the time (remember when I mentioned it here?). I organized my first spiritual bouquet this past month. The project began on January 20th and it ended on February 20th. I will be posting some pictures of what my prayer bouquet looked like once it was complete, what it entailed, how I approached it. It was an entire month dedicated to rosaries, novenas, mass offerings, adoration hours, fasting, and acts of charity. The completed prayer bouquet is en route to the recipient via snail mail and I want her to be the first to see the completed project before I share anything here. This bouquet was compiled for a very specific tribute and I hope it expresses all the love that was put into it. So for now, I'm sharing the link to the FREE printable cards (with instructions!) I created that you can download here to make your own spiritual bouquet. Share. Pray. Repeat.

St. Monica, My 2015 Patron Saint - She continues to kick some tail, this awesome saint. When I originally pulled this saint for my patron, I was a bit confused at how she could be my intercessor. And then a friend confided in me about abuse in her marriage. Then another friend confided in me about her marriage falling apart from difficulties. Then another friend confided in me about infidelity in her marriage. Then another friend confided in me about mental illness breaking up a marriage. Over a period of three weeks, I've learned some dark, dark things going on in marriages all around me (in some pretty devout Catholic couples!). My husband and I are taking this "spiritual attack" very seriously and we are praying vigilantly for ourselves and all marriages - that God would offer protection to all those who shared this sacred bond. St. Monica, pray for us! She has done an AWESOME job supporting these prayers so far...so please consider her as your own intercessor if you know someone struggling! 

   

Speaking of prayers again - you have been reaching out to us and asking us to pray for you. Keep using our contact form and asking! We love hearing from our readers and we are very happy to pray for you. We've been asked if you need to donate to our CrMS training fund in order for us to offer prayers for you and I just want to give a great big NO to that question. Our prayers are offered free of any obligation. We'll never offer to pray for you with conditions. That said, we know some of you are donating in memory of children. If you *have* asked us to pray for a special intention along with your contribution, know that we are keeping those intentions in nightly prayers as well. Accept all as Christ, right? <3

This Ain't the Lyceum - Don't forget to visit the host of 7QT! 

Seven Quick Takes (#6)

It has been *such* a busy week!! I hope you all are having a fruitful Lent so far. I know mine kicked off with quite the bang...and the rest (you know, all 72 hours of it...) has just been a matter of holding by the seat of my pants! Here goes:




Lent is upon us, truly. Right now I have an urgent prayer request of my readers: VERY URGENT need for prayers for my father-in-law. The next 48 hours are super important for him and we are praying for his liver and heart functioning to miraculously improve. Please, please pray with us.

FCP Training - an update on training and fundraising. So far, I have officially raised $145 towards the $5,000 needed for FCP training. I know that it's a lot to ask anyone for a donation, and I'm humbled to be in a position to *have to* here, but I wanted to offer a heartfelt thank you to all of those who have made a contribution. I'm moved by your kindness and generosity. Many of the donations have been very small...and it just about brings tears to my eyes when I see people helping us get over this hurdle $2 and $5 at a time with their hard-earned money. Please continue to keep our fundraising efforts in your prayers. If you would like us to pray for a special intention when you donate, just send us a message on the contact form...because we're praying for all our helpers! We're still waiting to hear back on the scholarship, so keep your fingers crossed we are approved for that! We definitely need that support to bridge the gap of our fundraising efforts here on the blog.





What Infertile Women Eat - For those on restricted diets (especially GF ones), Fat Tuesday goes a little differently. It's not the pancake-fest that it might be for the rest of the Catholic world on that day. So what's a gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, nut-free, nightshade-free girl to do on a day that calls for splurging?! Well, I'll tell you it wasn't a sacrifice, first of all. It definitely felt like a party too. The day started out with crepes I made using this ingenious Paleo naan recipe. I made them thinner than she does and I added honey and cinnamon to mine. Once they were fully cooked, I stuffed them with coconut cream and no-sugar-added blackberry preserves and drizzled them with melted ghee. Like I said, totally not a compromise! Dinner was a rare treat. The local sushi bar had a cheap "all you can eat sushi" night on Fat Tuesday. I'm not kidding!! It wasn't a buffet either, they made your meal to order. This was round one of the embarrassing volume of sushi eaten. Top left is yellowtail with scallions, top right is salmon avocado roll, and bottom is GF-panko-tempura sweet potato roll.




Weight Loss - Recently I realized that I have been keeping a giant accomplishment to myself and that it might help others to read about a victory happening over here as a result of NaPro treatment. I began taking LDN in May 2014. Everything leading up to that was kind of hit-and-miss in my treatment, excepting my surgical endometriosis excision. Once I was on LDN though, weight started to rapidly fall off. Half a stone (7 lbs) that first week. And on and on it went. It eventually slowed, but the loss has not yet stopped. The graph to the left represents 69 lbs lost since I began LDN. It's a huge deal. And I didn't talk about it. How Irish of me.... :P





The Tiny Catholic Bubble - This week I was in a unique situation to help a friend in need. It involved some research into a subject that should have been easy to find information about...and yet for days, I found myself calling and emailing and trying to find people or resources that might help. And you know who ended up being the most helpful, despite all the people, places, organizations, and hotlines I contacted? My tiny little Catholic bubble. That is, it was my priest friends, my Catholic volunteer friends, my missionary friends, those with least access to information and computers who made time to help. I was reminded in a big way this week just how important our small networks are when it comes to our shared faith in times of need. It was a heartwarming experience to have an opportunity to see that more clearly this week. At the same time, I'm starting to understand more and more as each day passes  why St. Monica is on my side this year!!

Comedy of Ashes - Sharing two hilarious takes on Ash Wednesday here. I know, I know...no one thinks "comedy" when they think Ash Wednesday, but trust me - these will make you smile! The first is a funny commentary from Daniel Bearman about how it's not a holy day of obligation, yet constantly high on attendance. The second is from my friend Bill Donaghy, who captured the essence of what we all think about Ash Wednesday... and for the record, load toner was what I was given this year. Bwahaha. Unto dust I shall return...

Diocesan Love - One of the American diocese liked our Virtual Marriage Retreat so much that they republished our post on their diocesan blog Encourage and Teach! I can't hardly express how humbled and excited it made me that our little blog had something to offer their readers. It made my birthday really special to learn that news, as you can imagine, but it's even cooler seeing it posted now! Go take a look at their facebook post and the blog post. Hope you all will consider trying out the retreat.

This Ain't the Lyceum -  Don't forget to visit the host of 7QT!