Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Almost Crazy Now

So we've made it 10 days into September, and saying I'm sane at this point would be a brazen lie. I've had literally every symptom a human being can have to make her question whether she's pregnant. And the things that have crossed my dumb brain the past 10 days have been ridiculous.

Since there's no way out of this two week wait other than the long, slow, painful way I'm trudging already - I've decided that bacon is the answer. And ice cream. And avocados. Oh what about that beautiful gluten-free, dairy-free existence I've been living for the past year and change? FORGET THAT. Pass me a pint of Ben & Jerry's and let me ponder the universe until I reach the bottom.

Friends, we call this "making up for lost time". And can I just say - Americone Dream Flavor - where have I been all your life??

The irony that an intense dairy craving only further confuses my But I'm going to run with it. I mean, I did just come back from the land of dairy. I guess I should be feeling grateful that my gut is healed and I have not had one single adverse effect from this bacon-ice cream-avocado parade that I'm marching in.

Yes, it's a parade over here. Of food. And I'm drum major.

I need to hear the things you've done during two week waits that were not helpful. Make me feel like less of a failure over here, interwebs. I'll pull up a chair and live off of your comments. With ice cream spoon in hand...

Sending out a hearty thank you to everyone who is praying for us this month (and always). I know it's only with your prayers that I'm even sitting here shoveling ice cream into my ice cream hole... 

Thank you for keeping our intentions for babies with you as you speak to our Lord each day this month. We are humbled by your helping us on this wild September ride.


  1. I've never had a two week wait, so I am no help! However, the Clomid is working, and I think I'm approaching peak day, so perhaps our TWW will overlap. Any advice for a noob?

    1. Yay for the Clomid working and for an opportunity for a 2WW! Honestly, the first one is absolutely *exhilarating*. You'll be sitting there dreaming of the possibilities, analyzing every symptom, perhaps engaging Mr. Google in his opinion 1 or 100 times, and you will want to test (at least I did). Go with the dollar store cheapies. They are the same sensitivity as the others and you won't even care about throwing $10 on 10 of them just because you'll be so happy you have something to wonder about and test.

      I guess my best advice for the first 2WW (now that I've had several), is to indulge. Go ahead and let your head run away with your heart and dive in. The let down of a BFN might be steep, but you never get another opportunity to dream that freely again. Even if you end up with regular cycles and have plenty of 2WW's ahead, you'll remember the first one.

      I'm sure other veterans of this torturous game will give the exact opposite advice and tell you to guard your heart. And while I'm not recommending you set up a baby registry or anything the first time through, I do think you have to celebrate having the chance to live a small window of God's wonder that is the 2WW. No one knows what's going on and it's all about hope and joy. Even with the heartache of a BFN, I wouldn't trade the experience of letting myself daydream and run away with the possibilities of that first cycle where a pregnancy was truly possible. :)

  2. My crazy 2WW's always involve a lot of google searches. I find out when I would be due (obviously), which since my FertilityCare training I don't need google for anymore. I find out what saint feasts are around the possible days of conception and the due date and say a litany to them. I figure out when I would be around 12 weeks and when and how I would tell my family (this gets more frequent during holiday seasons). I, then, move on to thinking about Godparents, baptisms, nurseries, baby items, baby decor. I have a file on my computer that is just for any and all information and ideas I get during that time. I stuff it all in there and then I don't touch it until the next TWW. All of this craziness is made crazier because we are NOT doing any treatment, there is NO treatment. So my TWW is just the two weeks before my aunt flow arrives! Early on in my marriage, I think it was the TWW food indulgences that led to a 20lb increase in my weight. Believe me, you are NOT alone!

  3. Yum. Ice cream and avocados. Yum. But I finally read past that yummy part. Praying for you and your intentions!

  4. Ahh now I'm craving Ben & Jerry's! During my TWW's (which are usually more like 8 day waits), I have no power to resist the chocolate, alllll of it, haha. But honestly, my biggest unhelpful thing is usually just suppressing all the feelings. That was possibly the only helpful thing about Clomid, I couldn't suppress the feelings (though I had a whole bunch extra too, haha). Sometimes it is good to let yourself feel.

  5. It's mostly wonderful to throw the diet out the window, isn't it? :) Also, what are these symptoms you speak of? And how many days left 'til you test??