Monday, February 9, 2015

Embracing Spiritual Motherhood

One of the things I've spent very little time focused on the past few years is embracing any sense of "spiritual motherhood". To say that I felt inept at finding my way to that kind of thing is almost an understatement. But with a couple of years of marriage and more miscarriages than I could ever have imagined "under my belt" now, I'm starting to see where spiritual motherhood is a path God will bless.

So how do you get in touch with your sense of spiritual motherhood enough to realize it in any tangible way? That question got me thinking. And thinking. And thinking some more. And when I got done with all that thinking...I was....hungry. Oh, and I was left with a resounding answer to my question! So few prayers are like that, I have to trust that getting a sense of such a clear answer was something for which I ought to be thankful (and pay attention to...).

With all of that said, there are two gifts that I feel particularly called to share. It took a while to embrace them both, but now that I'm owning them...I think these are the direction that my spiritual motherhood should be taking.

So, short and sweet, I shall elaborate on that in two ways:

1. A life of matchmaking

Many who know me in real life know that God seems to throw special "rocks" in my path. I always seem to meet the person who is looking for a couch and know the person who is giving away one at the same time. Take that example and run it through any other you'd like: cars, houses, people, pets, jobs. For some reason...I'm always in that role of matchmaking. My DH didn't believe me when I shared this uniqueness about myself when we first met and were getting to know each other better. We happened to be having that conversation on a street in London during the wintertime...wandering around Kensington (a place neither of us knew) together. It was bitter cold and dark out, with just the twinkly lights of Christmas strewn about the city to light the way. A French woman walks up to us in the middle of me having this conversation with my DH...and asks us directions to some place in London. I search my pockets and happen to find exactly the map she would need to get there and proceed to give her directions in French. Y'all....I don't speak French. I can sing in French, and I have traveled to French-speaking places and picked up little bits and pieces here and there. But I proceeded to give competent directions to a lost person on the streets of London in a language I didn't speak. Because that's who I am. Pretty sure DH listened a little closer when she had gone on her way! :)

I tell you that little trivial story so you don't think I'm forming a metaphor when I say I help people find what they are looking for... ha!

So with all the jobs, couches, apartments, and directions I've been happy enough to matchmake, you might imagine that none of those can hold a candle to the introductions I've made between people. Especially the ones who went on to talk, form friendships, fall in love, get engaged, and marry in the Catholic Church! That's right - I have 5 marriages to my name (that sounds bad, lol!). What I mean to say is that of the introductions I've made between people I know.... 5 Catholic marriages have resulted. It's certainly one of the more blessed feathers in my cap. And it's an incredible gift to be able to be a part of someone's love story like that.

So as part of figuring out how to embrace spiritual motherhood, I'm saying yes to matchmaking. What that immediately means is that I'm listening and searching for details about the single people in my world to see if I can connect them to each other where a match might be likely. An unlikely introduction is part of my own love story - and so is finding love at a large distance (we were 3,500 miles apart!). So for now, matchmaking is where I'm at and that's what I'm up to because I felt like God was nudging me to do a little more of it. Feel free to send me a message on the contact form if you are one of my single readers and you are a faithful Catholic discerning the vocation of marriage. I'm working with Leila over @ Little Catholic Bubble on this, so there is a great network of Catholic "moms" who are working together praying for these matches.

Lastly, I'll ask that you all keep the current match I'm working on in prayer with me. Please pray for Melissa and Zac. I'm about to make an introduction between them - so exciting!

2. A life of empathy

There is a lot of hurt amongst my group of friends right now. There are many reasons for that hurt, but the most important thing that links us all together is that we (as infertile women) understand suffering. It rarely takes a form we understand. It rarely takes on a plot we want. But suffering is something we are experienced at handling.
If you find yourself suffering right now for *any* reason, know that I am praying with you. And I am very willing to be an ear if you need to process or just be heard. I might not have answers, but I certainly have empathy for your pain.

Let's not let the suffering or anger fester. Let's put it to work. Jesus flipped a few tables in His day. Let it out and make room for God's mercy to flood in.

And for anyone not reaching out...know that I'm keeping you in prayer all the same. Lots of love, friends. These ripples are just another part of the lake. A quote from a Casting Crow's song comes to mind: "The only way we last forever, is broken together..."


So that's my take on spiritual motherhood. If you have any suggestions or resources for other ways I can embrace this, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you always for reading. It means a lot to me that anyone takes the time to make their way through my thoughts. Pax Christi. 


  1. I despise the phrase "spiritual motherhood," though I love the idea behind it. I love how you are using your gifts and talents to serve and care for others in ways that are uniquely yours.

    1. I think that's why I've wrestled with and had *so* much trouble "embracing" the idea in the past. I just didn't like the phrasing. It felt like what you do when you fail at 'real' motherhood to me for the longest time. Thank you for the sweet words though. Trying to serve and match and listen and comfort, because we so rarely get such identifiable nudges from God to do things we know how to do... we'll see how it goes! :)

  2. I *love* that you are a match maker ~ in all things, most especially love. Speaking French to a stranger asking for directions ... wow!! That is **SO** cool!! (And I'm a wee bit jealous :-D I can only ask "where is the bathroom" in Spanish ~ I figured it was a pretty important phrase. haha!)
    Continuing to ask God to bless you spiritually in mothering through match making and empathy ~ what an inspiration! <3

    1. I will admit I made this proclamation because matchmaking was something I begrudged for a while...but I definitely embrace it now. And don't be jealous of this chick. After the fact, I learned my DH has YEARS of French language in his primary and post secondary education. And the man said nothing while I struggled to remember the words for things like "left after the light", "right at the corner", "continue past the church"... lol. The things you learn about your spouse! (He insists he didn't keep his language from me- I just "never asked"). We've since had some fun conversations with people while traveling to family weddings (in Switzerland and France proper), and his vocabulary and recall of vocabulary are astounding. All I can do is laugh at that, thinking of that evening back in London!

      That said, there really is something that bridges a gap when you try to communicate in another language. I get excited about getting those opportunities! Thank you for the kind words and your prayers for our intentions, friend! <3

  3. I'm with Stephanie that this used to be a phrase that I despised... Until I realized that spiritual motherhood is something that all women are called to. This isn't something that I am called to because I am single and don't have children, it's something that I'm called to as a woman. It may look different now as a single woman than it will if I get married and have children, but if that happens, I will still be called to spiritual motherhood as well. I love that it gives me a chance to look for the little ways that I can nurture and care for all of the people in my life, whether it's patients or random people that I have a chance encounter with or whatever. I love that you're finding ways to embrace this! Also love that your response to all the thinking was hunger. I hear that! ;)

    1. Yeah, definitely too time for me to warm up to that phrase. One of the sweeter things my husband has ever said to me is that the things I spent doing and making a priority in my single life really revealed to him the character of the wife he had prayed for in his own single years. So as much as that is a sweet sentiment from a made more of an impact on me because of my 33 years spent single. I loved the idea that the person I was in my single years was something that mattered deeply. And that the time I spent in service of others spoke loudly.

      I hope you know that your own efforts in single life matter that deeply.

      Thank you for always commenting so personally and wonderfully. You're quite the writer, friend. And yes, ALWAYS HUNGRY over here!! hahaha :)

  4. I remember that woman looking for directions as being Japanese! Maybe I thought you were speaking Japanese! I was very impressed by your helpfulness, sweetie. It was so cold that trip!!