We can't even tell if my cycle ended or if it's still going. Do you remember all that hope and joy at how wonderfully my cycles were going this summer? How after months and months of working with a variety of NaPro protocols (read: ALL OF THEM), that we had finally started to see some amazing outcomes after almost 2 years of treatment...?
Yeah. That. That's all dead now.
All that's left now is the highspeed trainwreck that is clomid for me. It destroys everything. And at this point we think it caused a cyst from all of this ridiculous pelvic pain I've had all month long. Now I can't even eat more than two bites of food without feeling uncomfortable. And yes, the pregnancy tests continue because we don't want to miss the possibility of something ectopic in case that's *also* happening.
Why is it that right when I began to hope again that the medicine that was supposed to help us destroyed everything? How is that even remotely fair?
I don't know how much more fight I have in me after this ridiculousness.
And it's not even over yet...
St. Gerard, pray for me because I'm a whining ungrateful mess over here and I need a spiritual slap in the face.
UGH. I'm SO MAD at Clomid for you. SERIOUSLY!!! STOP MESSING WITH HER!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis isn't fair - you are right! What could you possibly need to learn from such an experience? I hear you completely, and I'm so sorry this has exploded like this. Mass will be for you today, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry =( that sounds so agonizing and I pray for relief soon!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that Clomid has been so problematic for you. I've done much better on Clomid than Femara, though obviously everyone reacts to these drugs differently. Granted sometimes it also takes time for your body to adjust to different medications, too. (I'm in the midst of a somewhat whacky cycle, too; it's day 18, but there was 11 days of bleeding/spotting, and today is the 12th day of good CM. I have no idea what surgery has done to me!) Prayers that you get some relief and answers soon!
ReplyDeleteAhhh Clomid strikes again, I am SO SORRY!!! I totally and 100% remember the fury I felt, you are completely justified!!! Prayers for peace, healing, and clarity.
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