I began reading blogs about fertility well before I started putting my thoughts into a blog of my own. One of the things that stood out to me in the sea of blogs that I came across was the 'Adopt-a-Blogger' prayer that is published on This Cross I Embrace. The reason it struck me was because it was one of the first really positive infertility thoughts I came across in the sea of despair being expressed on the topic.
It makes sense that no one LOVES being infertile. Not one of us would have signed up for it at a silent auction if it was up for bid. Am I right? Of course I am. What I think is so unique about adopting someone to pray for every month is that it's something I can *do* about infertility. So much of this walk is focused on myself, what I eat, how I exercise, what medicines I take, how they make me feel, what they do, what works and doesn't.... and all of that brings my focus right back to me.
Praying for someone else is something I have routinely seen God's grace in very clearly. While I sit here and struggle with my own prayers for myself and how to wrestle with my faith and my resolve and my struggles....I never struggle in praying for other people. I stand up and wrestle God with fearlessness for other people. Out loud. With gusto. Why is that?! Why does it occur to us to be such prayer warriors for others? I think it is a reminder that we're not supposed to be hyper-focused on ourselves all the time. We're here to help other people and to be supported by them much more than we're here to just focus on ourselves all the time.
That said, I've learned a lot about myself and how to pray because of the prayers I have prayed for others' intentions. My discussions with God have evolved over time because of the effort. And it's more of a dialogue now than me just barking and whining about my problems. Don't get me wrong - God's tough enough to manage that too. I just think I've gotten beyond that most days. Even saying that, I don't want you to think I'm sitting here glowing from all my praying virtue over here. I still think God listens especially attentively to the prayers I can't manage to pray out loud. You know - the ones said in between tears and breathless weeping. And there's lot of that going on in any given month over here.
Praying for people to receive the gifts I most want for myself seems to be the thing God routinely listens to me about. There's something to learn there, isn't there? Hi God, it's me - bonehead....
So, with all of that said - I so very much want a set of twins. You all know this by now don't you? (In my head it reads 'For God so loved world, He gave me twins...'). Anyway, I pray those prayers two-by-two, hoping God listens and just decides He needs to send some extra babies down to Earth and I'm offering free room and board in my womb for as many as He feels like handing me. So given that is the prayer I most often pray, I've decided to pray it for someone else this month. So look out Chateau D'IF - you've got some twin prayers coming your way.
I'll be praying for you every day, all month long. And I hope everyone reading here will join me.
I used to pray for twins during the years that I was childless. I wanted twins to make up for the time I felt I was losing to my infertility. Well, I didn't get twins, but I did get two who are 6 months apart and look very much alike, thanks to adoption, and everyone assumes they are twins but they aren't even biologically related. Try explaining that one to people! Only God could've orchestrated what happened to us and it is proof that He has a sense of humor. I can almost hear Him daily saying "don't forget, you asked for this!" As one mother of twins told me once when she saw my two, "I had twins. Best thing that ever happened to me but I wouldn't wish it on anyone." So consider yourself warned....God just might answer your prayer with a sense of humor! I sincerely hope He does.
ReplyDeleteOften times it IS easier to pray for others' needs. Perhaps because I don't take it as personally if the prayers for them aren't answered. That's probably really childish of me, but it's my childish truth. I DO love this adopted blogger thing. It's pretty neat. :)
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thank you for your prayers! Husbandido said he would be perfectly happy with a couple of sets of twins. My grandmother had a twin who died shortly after birth, so there is some family there. (Maybe that gives you a little something extra to work with. : ) )
ReplyDeleteI am also thrilled to see that you've started blogging; I love your sense of humor, which was one of the things I missed when I left the FB group.
I'm not the greatest prayer warrior, though I try. (Just don't try to get me to commit to a novena... I invariable forget and get way behind, then feel hopelessly guilty.) I started being open about our IF, both in writing and speaking about it publicly, because it is something I can do. There are a lot of people who aren't comfortable talking about it or who don't have the facility with words that I was blessed with; I can be a voice for those who cannot or are not comfortable speaking for themselves. That said, I also totally agree that Adopt-a-Blogger is a great way to help others struggling with IF.